YOUR BROTHER, MY WIFE

This research paper examines the dynamics of sex, gender, and power within men's prisons in South Africa, drawing on a study by the Centre for the Study of Violence and Reconciliation (CSVR). It describes a hierarchical system where sexual roles are used to assign gender identities, often through coercion and violence, and discusses how these dynamics are reinforced by prison gangs and the broader societal views on masculinity and femininity.

• Prison 'marriages' are the most frequent setting for sexual interactions among male prisoners. These relationships are profoundly unequal, with 'husbands' wielding power over 'wives' (or 'wyfies'), who are often coerced into the role and expected to perform domestic chores and be constantly available for sex in exchange for material goods like food, cigarettes, and drugs.
• Inmate culture assigns gender identities based on sexual roles: those who penetrate are identified as men, while those who are penetrated are identified as women. This 'woman' identity is typically not a prized position and is associated with constant humiliation, abuse, and being viewed as a sexual object.
• The 'Numbers gangs' institutionalize these sexual hierarchies. Some gangs divide their ranks into 'feminine' or 'wyfie' ranks and 'masculine' or 'soldier' ranks, and use rituals and rules to maintain the sexual status quo, even when official gang codes may forbid sex.
• A practice known as 'ushintsha ipondo' (meaning 'to exchange a pound') involves consensual sex based on mutual agreement and equal exchange, where partners take turns penetrating and receiving. Because this blurs gender roles and is associated with homosexuality, it is stigmatized and kept secret to avoid punishments such as fines or gang rape.
• Certain prisoners are more vulnerable to being coerced into the 'wife' role, including first-time offenders who lack 'prison suss' (knowledge of how the prison works), those who are economically poor and cannot afford basic necessities, those who are physically weak, and those perceived as 'good-looking'.
• Manhood in prison is claimed through aggression, emotional closure, financial self-sufficiency, and the demonstration of potential for violence. Prisoners identified as 'women' may be required to commit an act of violence, such as stabbing someone, to prove themselves deserving of 'man' status.
• Sexual abuse in prison has lasting effects on reintegration, including the risk of further violence upon release. Victims may attack others to keep their prison identity secret, or engage in revenge attacks against former 'husbands'. The trauma and loss of self-esteem are linked to a higher likelihood of re-offending.
• Prison warders are alleged to be complicit in these abuses by selling sex targets to inmates, accepting bribes to ignore violence, ignoring complaints, or denying prisoners access to medical and welfare services.

APA

Institute for Security Studies (2003). YOUR BROTHER, MY WIFE. https://issafrica.org/01-jun-2003-sacq-no-4/your-brother-my-wife

Chicago

Institute for Security Studies. YOUR BROTHER, MY WIFE. 2003. https://issafrica.org/01-jun-2003-sacq-no-4/your-brother-my-wife.

Wikipedia

{{cite report |author=Institute for Security Studies |title=YOUR BROTHER, MY WIFE |date=1 June 2003 |url=https://issafrica.org/01-jun-2003-sacq-no-4/your-brother-my-wife |access-date=17 August 2026 |via=Climate Insights Directory}}

BibTeX

@techreport{instituteforsecuritystudies2003your, author = {{Institute for Security Studies}}, title = {{YOUR BROTHER, MY WIFE}}, institution = {Institute for Security Studies}, year = {2003}, month = jun, url = {https://issafrica.org/01-jun-2003-sacq-no-4/your-brother-my-wife}, urldate = {2026-08-17}, note = {Indexed by Climate Insights Directory} }